Easter and My Faith in Post Malone

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“Alexa, play Sunflower, by Post Malone.”

As my son ages, I find myself holding my face in my hands and sighing more and more regularly. Sometimes it’s the strange comments he makes, or the strange dances he does or the strange questions he asks me. i.e. “Dad, why do I have to read if I can just listen to stuff?”

It’s exhausting.

Not last on this list of heavy sighs and eye rubs comes from his choice in music. It’s not that I don’t like the songs or the artists he listens to, but when he finds one he likes he listens to it over and over and over again. And as any parent will tell you, this means we all listen to it over and over and over again .

I’m not so old that I don’t remember the secret places my favorite songs would take me in my imagination. I’d save the world listening to the Best of John Williams. I’d take Paula Abdul  on dates as she’d laugh at my jokes and hold my hand listening to Forever Your Girl. The greatest dream of my life came while falling asleep to Pink Floyd’s Learning to Fly, and more than one World Series game winning catch was set to the voice of John Fogerty’s, Centerfield.

Mike and I are similar. We are imaginative and love watching movies and talking about superheroes. I think this results in picturing our lives as one long action sequence with one long soundtrack.

Music is powerful.

At Easter mass I listened to Father Mike talk to us about the joy of Christ’s love for us. How he died for our sins. It’s a strange concept isn’t it? Years ago I didn’t believe it. These stories are metaphors and myths passed down to us like the Greeks and Romans right? They’re powerful stories but they aren’t real. They’re just fables to teach us how to live appropriate lives.

But, as I reacquaint myself with my faith, I ask myself the question: What if the stories are true?

As I meditate on that question, I know deep down that this is what I believe. I look past my inner voice of logic, and there, lower, at the root of my soul, that place between my heart and my gut, is a more ancient voice. It is the one that has always been with me. It is the voice that doesn’t question, but knows, the one that doesn’t hate, but loves.

It became clear to me that faith is not about finding explanations to Earthly questions, it’s about seeking answers to spiritual questions. So, yes, I believe. I believe he died and rose again. I believe Thomas put his hands in his wounds, and I think he suffered a horrific death so that our sins would be forgiven so we could enter the kingdom of heaven.

Turning that corner, believing,  has made all the difference for me. I see beauty where I didn’t before, but the struggle still exists. I still question and I select what I believe instead of giving myself over to pure faith. I yearn for more instead of showing gratitude for what I have. I pursue something else, something new instead of seeking God’s truth within my present circumstances. I speak when I should listen. It’s this spiritual warfare that now shapes my being. 

I think about this as I listen to those lyrics I’ve heard so many times before.

I hear them differently now. 

Every sin, every mistake is an opportunity for God to welcome me back. He is real, and he loves me no matter how many times I walk out on  him:

Every time I’m walkin’ out

I can hear you tellin’ me to turn around

Fightin’ for my trust and you won’t back down

Even if we gotta risk it all right now, oh

I know you’re scared of the unknown (known)

You don’t wanna be alone (alone)

I know I always come and go (and go)

But it’s out of my control

And He says to me:

And you’ll be left in the dust

Unless I stuck by ya

You’re a sunflower

I think your love would be too much

Or you’ll be left in the dust

Unless I stuck by ya

You’re the sunflower

You’re the sunflower

Yeah

He’s there. He’s always calling me to return to him, to turn my face to him like a sunflower yearning for warmth and light to grow tall and strong.
All he wants in return is my trust, and my love.
-Mike Sposito
Owner Spowerks LLC

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